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The story of the Bangbus!
Perfectly accurate because I have a perfect memory.
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So one bright sunny day early in 2001 we were driving in our beat up piece of shit van and filming people on the street
while driving by. We used to do this all the time, and then make funny videos out of these people, put music in them
so they looked like trailers from a big movie. It was during a day like this that we conceived the idea of the bangbus.
1. First, what does the bangbus look like anyway?
One misconception about the bangbus is that we have money and that the buys is nice as hell. The first bangbus was a 1981 18-wheel tractor trailer that we bought at a livestock auction for $2000 [figure 1a].
In 2002 when we made a few bucks off our videos we splurged and added the 1973 camper on the back that was formerly owned
by Claude and Madge Derbowitz. They also happen to be my biological parents [figure 1b].
But pretty
soon we stopped worrying about the bus itself and started asking girls to take off their pants so we could allow
retarded kids to point at their "noo-naa's" [figure 1c]. We continue on with this game and meet interesting people along the way. We even met a cool
little dog once, and so we decided to keep her! [figure 1d].
2. How can this be real? I heard people say it isn't real
Ah yes the question we get alot. Look, when this site got big, people in the old-school porn industry thought 'hey we can do this too!'. Problem was, they
couldnt. They shot a bunch of copycat stuff that was obviously fake. Yet the shot it in a bus, tried to emulate every aspect of what we did and created
a brand confusion...people were led to believe that garbage came from us.
Its simple really. If you have watched a bangbus shoot and wondered 'hey is this real or fake, Im not sure...'. then consider this simple fact...if it were
fake that would have to mean that the girl who just got fucked on camera, for money, is also a fantastic actress! And that would make perfect sense because
everybody knows that girls who fuck on camera for money are always fantastic actressess! Duh! And the phrase 'cheesy porn video' is just Hollywood hatin on all
that natural acting talent!
Just look at the sampling of girls below that
were banged in the bangbus, if this weren't real these girls would all have shiny Oscars on their mantles (if they had mantles)
[figure 2a-h].
3. Why did the Server use to be soo slow and go down all the time?
Let me tell you, alot of people tried to keep the best pornsite on earth down, mostly a bunch of middle east extremists that did not want me redefining entertainment [figure 3a]. Unfortunately they succeded, the server was down all the time and Bangbus was known as the only Pornsite in existence that was Open 9-5, monday to friday. This started to really piss me off, people couldnt get as much porn as before...and by porn I mean GOOD PORN [figure 3b]. Like clock work, those bastards tried hijacking my server, but this time, I had a little surprise for them, the kind that fires off 60 rounds per second. It was an insane fire fight, I managed to wound one of the crazies and this taught them not to fuck with my server again [figure 3c].
Actually we were down b/c more people visit this website than just about anywhere else, so we eventually hired a really cool guy and he fixed everything [figure 3d].
4. Who the fuck are you guys anyway?
I might not be the best looking guy in the world but the ladies love me! [Figure 4a]. I have to wear this neat helmet because it keeps the voices out. When the voices get in, I forget to film that week and I even remove updates and people dont like that. Sometimes to girls I say really screwed up things and people question how I was raised, I assure you I was brought up 100% perfectly normal [Figure 4b]. The only Traumatic event I can remember is the time I walked in to my brothers room to see him exercising naked with another man. [Figure 4c] He assured me, it was perfectly natural and that all guys exercise together like that. It took me about 4 years, but I finally realized he was a colon puncher.
5. So what now?
We ride on. New girls banged every week, new HO certifications given out all over the place. And we even got a new tagline: 'Bangbus, its whats for dinner'. Ciao.
WE ARE (pretty) COOL JOIN HERE
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Dylan
Wednesday October 27, 2004
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Alanis
Wednesday August 31, 2005
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